The Cage of Marriage

Finally time for me to update again. Sorry for being that lazy. You have to know how tired I become every day after work and my brain simply dun want to work anymore for god sake. Before I start writing what I plan to write, I gotta tell how disappointed I got after I found a really adorable pair of on sale Zara high heels with no more size 38 available. The nude color was perfect and the heels are tall while at the same time wide enough to support my legs was just amazingly touching. Now better go back to my story before I start to sob about the heels "Wuwuwuwu....."

I like reading but I didn't read a lot. Laziness is one of the reasons and the other is that I read really slow and I simply hate to rush even how fascinating the book is. I like to chew every single word and every joke in a book to get the very meaning of the story. Sometimes I even reread sentences or paragraphs to get the best I can. My favorite book so far is "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert talking about the discovery journey of the author learning to live and to love again. After "Eat Pray Love", the author wrote another book named "Committed" telling how she and her new lover, Felipe, after her heartbreaking divorce getting married to each other because of the US Government disallowing Felipe to enter the State again. The book includes history and different cultural changes of how marriages evolution taking place, plus many statistics and researches on some interesting facts about marriages and married women/men. I am still reading it but I am already a bit overwhelmed by the miserable realities stating how women suffer and sacrifice  for marriages. 

In the book, there is a term "first-comes-love-then-comes-marriage-then-comes-baby-in-the-carriage". What a traditional impression of women finally ending up in motherhood. It sounds usual but at the same time pathetic by telling how routine a woman life is like. Not only this term overwhelmed me but what added on my worries were the researches showing married women without being better off compared to single ones while men become more organized and wealthy enjoying a better life with their lovely wives looking after every detail. 

When the author asked her mother the happiest time she had throughout her life and the answer was the time the married couple spending together after their children had grown up to certain age. Okay so here may show some hopes towards marriage but still this time it brings out the misery of raising and rearing a child! *Sigh* It is especially terrifying when I read about the personal sacrifices her mother made for the family. To give up the career that she had always loved ,which was fighting for freedom of choice on human sexuality for women at that time. Actually now in modern societies, the reality also tells how sad it is for women to become mothers. Take my mom for example, disregarding the "happiness" she had/has about raising and looking after an annoying and disobedient daughter, her seems-to-be-busy-but-dull-to-the-extreme-life definitely drives me crazy. Wake up, morning exercise/ hiking, breakfast in a teahouse, groceries, finding healthy food, tidying home, dinner, TV, sleep, and repeat. Her extremely small social circle makes me worry about my future married life as well. Her social life is nearly an isolation from the outer world as the one she most of the time hangs around with is her sister only. But here I need to clarify that my mom is happy with current situation so far as I know since she is a simple person easy to be satisfied, ignoring the fact that how my dad sometimes gets on my mom's nerves in a very irresponsible way. But to me, I keep questioning myself "is it the mission of a woman to get married and rear a child?" When it is stated that married women are not generally happier than single women, I wonder if women can actually live better with themselves being financially independent, shopping crazily without getting fat after having babies, becoming more charismatic every day to seduce charming guys even getting older.  

And here another question is why women still want to be "stuck" in marriages even so many pathetic evidences existing in life. One of the answers getting from a friend of the author was just merely about the feeling of being chosen. What a simple and humiliating answer explaining the fact of women being afraid to be left out and end up suffering loneliness on this planet especially men are getting rare these days. To me, I dun exactly have an answer or conclusion to all these questions. But the truth is that marriage is something you have to think about carefully before bringing it to action. Happiness may not be the ultimate outcome as you can observe from the world nowadays. The divorce rate has never been dropping since people are more open to choices and independent than ever.  Luckily until now I still not yet consider marriage as a nightmare to me and I think the book will absolutely tell me something positive in return at the end to calm and comfort my nerves.  However, with this book you will rethink about the meaning of marriage and show how important it is to take precautions when having sex (So you won't possibly end up in marriage then divorce and a baby without mom/dad LOL!) .  

Okiesssss...... I think I have scared enough my readers, female ones especially. So I should shut my mouth and cut the marriage crap here to allow you girls some time to face the truth. Cheers!!